


Nothing's Wrong

by NeoSoul



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Anakin Skywalker Needs a Hug, Anakin is a mess, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bulimia, Eating Disorders, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Mental Health Issues, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, cuz he's sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-12
Updated: 2018-08-12
Packaged: 2019-06-26 09:26:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15660399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NeoSoul/pseuds/NeoSoul
Summary: Anakin isn't coping too wellBut it's all fineRight?





	Nothing's Wrong

**Author's Note:**

> Just a late night exploration because idk how to write abt anything other than EDs  
> Soo yeah  
> here's this lil diddy

The vast Coruscant sky was lowly lit, but it was a sight. The orange, evening clouds were serene to Anakin. He hadn't realized how much they seemed to help his state of mind. The war was raging, and he, well he was falling. Bounty hunters seemed to be everywhere, more and more people dead to the Separatists. He almost felt as if he was helpless, as no matter how many missions he did, nothing was helping to stop the war. It was all the same. Keeping his relationship private grew to take a toll as well.  
Everything was taking a toll, and he seemed to break with it.   
He had dug himself into a hole, and he wasn’t able to cope.  
Somehow food was what he found helped. Stuff it down, puke it up. Every failure, every death was what set it off. He seemed to find no end, and it wasn't painless anymore. It once was, until the damage had started to set in.   
It wasn't like he had lost a lot of weight, or that the scars that plagued his only arm of flesh were deep enough to be concerned about. He was fine, it was just something he used to cope. He swore he was fine. Even the medical examinations seemed to say so, with the exception of a few odd heartbeats. Nothing was wrong.   
He was between missions for just a few days. Ahsoka was busy, but Obi-Wan was with him on the break, but in his own world. Anakin was alone, and the sunset was slowly getting deeper shades of purple, as the sun set. Once the night was strong, and everyone began to go to sleep, except for the night guards and some of the jedi who were unable to sleep. They never really wandered, they would pace the halls, but they never went into the library, or anywhere really. The temple was eerie at night. Everything was large, and the ceilings were high. The Coruscant nightlife was bright, and the neon lights slowly began to show, along with the sound of the speeders that flew by. They created the only noise in the halls, and it seemed muted inside the temple. Footsteps echoed, but that was such a usual thing that it didn’t matter.  
He wandered through the halls, just as others. His mind was on the most recent assassination attempt on Padme. Ahsoka was the one who stopped it, and he did thank her, but it left him terribly shaken. He added fear of losing his wife to the list of things he couldn’t get out of his head.   
He walked through to find the most remote of the freshers. It was the one that no one seemed to even come near. It’s where he usually came to rid of food, after hitting up the mess hall and eating what he could find at the late hours. It was usually leftovers, but he was desperate for anything. He could feel his stomach begin to twist, as if it knew what was happening. The food never settled well in his stomach anymore. He began to realize the lasting damage, but it didn’t phase him at all.   
He ducked into the fresher, hoping no one would see him, as he wasn’t quiet when he rid himself of food. He closed the door behind him and he leaned over the bowl. He knew to be careful, as he was still in his robes. Getting puke on his robes wasn’t something he was too keen of. He started to shove two fingers into his throat, which is how he usually would do this, but only with his hand that still had flesh. The other one didn’t leave a good aftertaste, metal didn’t do very well in that department. The food came up almost immediately, and the relief washed over him. He could feel the high, that tended to come with it, already set in. It was part of why he did it. It made him forget of everything for the couple of hours after, until the weird high would die down. Then he would have to do it again to feel the same, which was why he felt so addicted and attached to this.   
He left the toilets and went towards the sink, and attempted to rinse the bitter taste from his mouth. It seemed it couldn’t leave, at least not completely, but he expected that. It never seemed to do so. He could hear voices echo from the library, and they seemed far too familiar. Plo Koon and Kit-Fisto. They were just discussing usual business it seemed, so the quick panic settled, and Anakin slowly inched out, waiting for no one to be close to the line of sight. He had no urge to cut his skin that night, not as he usually did, but it seems that only happened from anger, and he had nothing to feel anger over that day, not until the next mission.   
He was in limbo at the moment, but only for a bit, as a cruiser would go up in a few days, after the fiasco with the Hutts is over. He was due for a mission again. The hunt for the bounty hunters continued.  
Anakin wandered back to his chambers, and the sky was now fully darkened, and the Coruscant lights were at the prime of brightness. The lights seemed to worsen the slight pain in his head, as the lights were just far too bright for his eyes. His vision was speckled with black spots. It always seemed to be after the sessions. He kept his gaze forward as he went into the elevator to the quarters floor, with his own. He felt the slight dizziness that seemed to always plague him. It never seemed to grow worse with puking, only when he didn't eat, which was rarely.   
His room was dark when he walked in. The light from outside illuminated enough to see the light. When the light turned on, he felt familiarity of the room. It was dark, but he enjoyed the darkness. It was comforting.   
Anakin grew tired quickly, as he entered. The effects of earlier had caught up with him. He sat upon his bed and rolled the sleeve of his tunic up towards his elbow. The bandages from the cuts he had made the night before were now stained. He knew he had to change them. He snuck back into his own fresher and pulled the bandages back. The cuts were still fresh. He grabbed a new bandage and placed it upon them and then quickly pulled his sleeve down. The habit was something he wasn't proud of, but it helped control his anger after losing his mom on Tatooine, so he kept doing it.   
He undressed his robes and went back to his bed. It seemed he always slept terribly little. The night was never easy. He found he could barely sleep most nights anyway, except for those few nights where his body had enough and he would sleep for days. It seemed it worked, at least for the time. Every medical exam showed he was fine, even his weight was stable.   
He swore he was fine.   
It was all fine.

**Author's Note:**

> Also idk if I want to continue this  
> so if you want it to go on  
> comment  
> I left it at an ambiguous ending for this case


End file.
